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Mustache Pacifier

Why wait to grow up and grow your own when Mom and Dad can provide that sexy Tom Selleck look that all the toddlers go for with the Mustache Pacifier?


via Amazon

Who is that? A short Inspector Clouseau? A well-swaddled Hercule Poirot? It can’t be Tom Selleck, can it? No, it’s your toddler putting on the Ritz and looking suave and stylish with a Mustache Pacifier.

So what if her (or she) is too young to grow actual facial hair, or any head hair for that matter? They can get a jumpstart to adulthood and stay calm and pacified at the same time. Perhaps they should make a Mustache Pacifier for adults.

Your little Johnny or Jimmy will demand to be called “Sir” even as he demands his pacifier. The silicone construction of the Mustache Pacifier is perfectly safe for babies up to six months old. So you can keep calm about keeping the little one calm.

There’s no crawling around the fact that your baby will be the hit of the preschool and will likely be fighting off the play date invitations when he dons this black Mustache Pacifier. The curly mustache is reminiscent of the some of great hirsute faces of the ages – Einstein, Charlie Chaplin, Burt Reynolds, Rollie Fingers, President Taft.

Mustaches are growing in popularity as evidenced by today’s stars who are sporting them. Who wouldn’t want their kid being mistaken for Jason Lee, Borat, Brad Pitt, or Geraldo Rivera? Yes, Geraldo Rivera.

Take a look at the upturned ‘stache your child will be sporting while sucking himself silly and you’ll swear he’s the spitting image of Vincent Price. Walter Cronkite?

If it’s true that the mustache makes the man then your baby is one Mustache Pacifier away from supporting you in your old age. Just don’t let him have the keys to the car quite yet.